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Nào cùng đọc truyện vui

How do I get across that river?

A dumb blonde is walking along, lost, and encounters a deep and wide river. She looks up and down the river for a way across but is unsuccessful in finding one. Yet, when looking to the other side again, she happened to see another blonde on the opposite river bank. She tried calling to her.

"How can I get to the other side of the river?" she shouts loudly.

The other blonde replied "What for? You are already on the other side of the river!"

Mind telling me the time?

BLONDE: Excuse me, what time is it right now?

WOMAN: It's 11:25PM.

BLONDE: (confused look on face) You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.

The Hen And The Dog

Jones : "Sorry, old man, that my hen got loose and scratched up your garden"

Smith : "That's all right, my dog ate your hen"

Jones : "Fine! I just ran over your dos and killed him".

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The River Isn't Deep-----------------------------


A stranger on horse back came to a river with which he was unfamiliar. The traveller asked a youngster if it was deep.

"No", replied the boy, and the rider started to cross, but soon found that he and his horse had to swim for their lives.

When the traveller reached the other side he turned and shouted : "I thought you said it wasn't deep ?"

"It isn't", was the boy's reply : "it only takes grandfather's ducks up to their middles !"

Jesus, help me please…

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.
A little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.”
The mother smiled reassuringly at her son.
- “ You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.”
The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, “ Are you sure he’s out there?”
- “Yes, I’m sure. He is everywhere. And he is always ready to help you when you need him,” she said.
The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and *****ed it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called.
“ Jesus? If you’re out there, would you please hand me the broom?

She's My Wife

One of the guest turned to a man by his side to criticize the singing of the woman who was trying to entertain them.
"What a terrible voice! Do you know who she is ?"
"Yes", was the answer. "She's my wife"
"Oh, I beg your pardon. Of course, it isn't her voice, really. It's the stuff she has to sing. I wonder who wrote that awful song ?"
"I did", was the answer.

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."

Little Johnny Boy

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying.
“Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”.
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stoop up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself”

MY FATHER, SIR

Tom did not want to go back to school after the summer holidays. He wanted to stay several more days at home. So he telephoned his teacher. He tried to speak like his father.

“Tom is ill in bed,” he said.” He cannot go to school for several days”.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that,”said the teacher. “Who is speaking?”

“My father, Sir,” aswered Tim.

The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. It seems she's always fatigued from staying up all night long.

Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all."

The girl replied, "Waiting for me to come home."

1. Why are you crying ?
“Why are you crying, Nelly?” asked the little girl’s father.
“Because Tom has holidays, and I don’t” said Nelly.
“Why don’t you have holidays?”
“Because I don’t go to school.”

2. Correction
Teacher: Tom, why don’t you wash your face everyday ? I can see what you had for breakfast today.
Tom: What was it, teacher ?
Teacher: Eggs.
Tom: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.

3. It was so dark
Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Jonny, and how there is only one pieces there. Can you explain this???
Jonny: It was so dark, Mamma, I didn’t see the other piece.